Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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