Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
