Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
