Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
