Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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