ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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