How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think people are normalizing furries
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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