It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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