Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
