i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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