After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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