Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
