some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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