I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can Purell be used as lube?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
