I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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