woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
