Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
