Don't you send me to vm
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize