as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
