their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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