forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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