I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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