I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
