dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
