I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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