they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
