I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
