We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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