no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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