i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
