anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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