i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
