I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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