All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
