the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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