Plan B is the new Plan A
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
