sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
