you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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