He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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