i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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