Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
