Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
