She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
