I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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