Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
