East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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