I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
