her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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