I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
