ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
