hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
